Early childhood
As a little girl Jack Gray lived in a house not unlike your house. Jack Gray had a dog not unlike your dog. Jack Gray had a cat not unlike your cat. Jack Gray slept in a bed not unlike your bed. Jack Gray went to a school not unlike your school. Jack Gray had friends not unlike your friends. Jack Gray had teachers not unlike your teachers. Jack Gray lived a life not unlike your life.
Jack Gray is probably you.
- Turn ons: Rubbing sandpaper on his nipples while watching Shirley Temple eat fried chicken with Roger Ailes.
- Turn offs: When his sister misses the beat on her drums.
- Zodiac: Jack White is a terrible comedian.
- Turn ons: When he tells a joke and the audience is like: Oh man, that's one funny joke!
- Turn offs: When he tells a joke and the audience is like: Your jokes are bad and you should feel bad!
- Zodiac: Jack Black likes to shoot up on heroin and play the bass guitar while his beloved trailer park burns down.
 The personal life of Jack Gray
- He is made entirely out of bacon.
- His shoelaces posses the strength of two shoelaces.
- He wear velvet gloves when addressing the lower classes.
- He has heads in the back of his eye.
- He likes to spank his wife and cheat on his children.
- He is the world’s leading collector of dust particles.
- He enjoys wagging his uvula at strangers on the subway.
- He has to go around naked because he smoked all his clothes.
- He once kill a blind man for looking at him funny.
- He has provided the laughs on every laugh track ever made.
- He likes to jump around now, jump around now, jump up, jump up to get down.
- He wants to tell you a little story about Waterloo.