Christianity
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1. A religion of love that is based upon the brutal murder of God by his creations, and God's subsequent retaliation in condemning recalcitrant creations to eternal torture by non-oxidizing fire. The more devout a follower of Christianity, the more worried he is you may be enjoying yourself.
Christians may be subdivided into two categories: those who practice cannibalism, and those who believe that they're only eating bread and Jesus Juice.
2. N. Christian- A zombie like follower of the Church of Christian Slater. They meet every third Thursday of the month and watch 90210 and "Hard Rain" while the reciting the prayer of Christian Slater and sharing testimonials of when they first discovered that the only road to salvation was through the unconditional love of Christian Slater.
The first form of Christianity began when Jesus decided to start a club in his high school (Jerusalem High) to make the cool kids jealous. It did not work, and he continued to get swirlies all the freakin' time. He swore revenge on the bullies, saying the meek would inherit the earth and use their wealth to build porn sites. This was the beginning of his wandering preachings (i.e. babblings, see "homeless people") and one of the most powerful religions in existence.