A duck is a bird of the highest Master's Degree. They often rule over kingdoms and stuff like that. You know, because they're birds of the highest Master's Degree...so...they should have crowns and stuff. And butlers. Teddy bear butlers. Because teddy bear butlers are the best kind of butlers. Except for monkey butlers of course.
 A history of ducks
Once upon a time, in a far off land, there lived a mango. It had a crown. A duck came upon the mango.
The mango fell and rolled away.
The duck then took its rightful place as king of the...trees.
The mango trees.
Also read this boring yet illogical...CONTRARY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There once was a lady named Zuka Duka Wawa, who drove a spaceship, her pet elephant hated ducks, and she had orinthophobia, fear of birds, including ducks. Mrs. Wawa had 2 million children and 5 trillion Webkinz.
One day a strange tornado hit her street. The strange part was that it didn't do anything but move along. But what it did do, is throw talking ducks all over the city! "Who the duck? Who the duck? Who the duck?" they all said making a chaotic "Who the duck?" storm. Then they yelled in unison "YOU THE DUCK!". "Now, people no more duck yelling" said a random woman "Wait, d-d-d-d-d-DUUUUUUUUUUUUCKSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!"
Of course Mrs. Wawa screamed like nuts. She would fly herself to Canada if the airport wasn't crowded with ducks. So she herded her elephant outside to play Whack-A-Duck. After the ducks where squished the road was duck-print even in 2840.
 Ducks today
As with most political figures, ducks have been mocked and ridiculed unfairly. They are protrayed as clumsy, greedy, and silly. Of course, we all know that that's all untrue. We must hunt the duck-haters. HUNT THEM!
 Llama llama llama llama llama llama DUCK!
I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake! Time for me to retire now, and become a DUCK!
 END OF SONG SO SHUT UP NOW
...wait. Cake and duck don't rhyme.