Family

This article was too bizarre for Uncyclopedia,   but Illogicopedia loves random stuff.

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Note: If all of the below applies to your "family" then you in fact do live in a family. If it does not apply to you, then you must be sinners and burnt at a stake.

A Family group of related people consisting of:

• one dad
• one mother
• one boy
• one girl
• one baby (no defined sex needed)
• one (or more) mistresses (optional)

Optional

• Cheerful neighbour
• one dog
• one cat
• one maid
• one butler
• one annoying boss for the dad
• a whole group (up to 8 people) of women to come around for coffee (or tea) during the afternoon for the mothers tea party
• one bus driver for the kids

Must

• the father Must hate his boss
• the mother must be consistantly cheerful
• the mother Must enjoy: cleaning, gardening, cooking, helping kids with their homework, laughing politely, nagging (only sometimes though), wearing aprons, chatting (not talking) and most importantly, smiling.
• the son Must have a comb-over
• the girl Must have a really cheesy smile
• one of the children Must have a "crush" with a kid at school
• the Must all be smiling for at least 20 hours of the day.
• the household pets must get along with each other.

Must Not

• the kids Must Not rebel against their parents
• the parents Must Not have fights
• the children Must Not cry
• the family Must Not worship any other religion apart from christianity
• the father Must Not have an affair
• the parents Must Not have Sexual Intercourse
• drugs, sex, rock, body parts, puberty, Islams, politics, war, obesity, bestiality, homosexuals, freedom of speech, sport, other families, music, weapons, butter knives, Foreigners, big animals, and aliens Must Not be mentioned in any conversation. (Jesus and christianity are acceptable converstations).
• the Mistresses Must Not make themselves known to the mother

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