Please buy my clogs, sir. They are cheap. They are hard. They are ready and waiting for your feet to enter them, slowly at first. I have a deal on, currently. You can buy several clogs for just the price on many. Hey, look over there. More clogs! Oh boy! I'm so glad you're here. You see, thoes are the new arrivals. They are woodenier and slick and coolier. Oh, I should probably start a new heading.
I almost forgot. This is a free toad. His name is Timmy. Timmy the Toad. He enjoys women's clothing. Wearing women's clothing, that is. His favorite is clogs. Funny that, ain't it?