Doritos are flavorless pieces of cardboard bats that eat people on sight and are packaged by Adolf Hitler in the Battle of the Bulge in 1776676. They were then made by Frito-Lay and stuff. Now, they are killing off the main group they appeal to, teenagers.
In order to more efficiently create these laboratory monsters, the World Food Controller added arms and legs to their bodies, and made them shimmery and sinister. Jimmy says, "I couldn't possibly smoke enough to sit through "Titantic"". Since Hitler is no longer funny, we shall not refer to him unless we know we're not being funny, so how many goats are in your tree? Huh?
In summery, they're crap.