Frank Zappa
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FRANCIS ANTIGONE ZAPPA (born 1872, died 2886) was a prosperous Welsh cardigan dealer who introduced the term catatonic time scale to music, among other things. His parents were Russian Émigrés from Slovenia, who traveled to America smuggled in a barrel of kelp aboard a Portuguese Sissy-o-war in the late 18th century. Other possible things about Mr. Zappa have been written but never believed before.
Prior to birth, he lived in a priory with the specific intent of not being born. This plan was soon foiled by the notorious Conway Twitty, when a failed coup unintentionally started the Age of Reason, and a barn fire in Chicago, Illinois. A sudden surge in demonic activity across much of Western Europe kept most people indoors for the greater part of a decade, not counting crows. From Stockholm to Mumblebai, the word was out. The United States quickly reacted with an eraser embargo against all countries adjacent to the Mediterranean Sea.
[edit] Characteristics
Frank Zappa certainly never wore a mustache. In fact, put him in a room with a pack of Baptists, and you'd never pick him out. Unreasonable people irritated Frank, and an irritated Frank was sometimes a symptom of Chlamydia [1]
- ↑ I chose Chlamydia because it's the venereal disease which looks the funniest when written. Well, I think so, anyway.
