- London should not be confused with the more sensible sounding city, Lundumb.
 Places to see
When visiting London, there are many exciting locations you can waste your time with. These include a life size recreation of the clock from News at 10 (you know, the one from the HP sauce bottle), a place where guys in posh suits talk nonsense and a complicated underground system of tubes. There's also an old abandoned building where the local crazy woman and her family of cats live. This is particularly of interest as one can pay £5 to be a sardine for fifteen minutes.
 Getting around
Walk, it's better for your health.
One major feature of London is the wide ranging spectrum of tramps, from the slightly trampish to the completely wasted 'sleep on the Tube track' type. Look out for the ones that play guitar and smash them over the head before stealing their money.