Mr Google
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Google is a man who lives down the road. He has a lot of answers to things and has stacks of porn. Frankly I don't know how he can live with himself.
He just whores out these mags for free without any concern for the kiddies. Once I saw him even selling dog porn to overweight prostitutes. "How can you sink lower than that?" You may ask. Well he can.
Still... He's got what I want..