United Nations Cake and Biscuit Regulation Authority

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The United Nations Cake and Biscuit Regulation Authority is the body that formally categorised all substances and life-forms in the known universe into cake, biscuit or other.

It was created to quell the violent disputes resulting from the long-standing arguments on whether certain substances were biscuit or cake or whether they even existed at all.

Many decisions of the authority have been hotly contested by pro-cake or pro-biscuit nations. Relations between the regulatory authority and pro-cake nations reached breaking point in 1998 when the headquarters of the authority were filled with rancid cake mixture as a protest over the declaration that Jaffa Cakes were a biscuit.

It was this controversy that led to extensive research by scientists into a better system of categorisation of whether a substance was cake or biscuit. This eventually resulted in the Cake/Biscuit Uncertainity Principle which replaced the United Nations Cake and Biscuit Regulation Authority.

The author of this page is currently categorised as biscuit UNCBRA Ruling 89HSAAM

Later

I have received the following interesting piece of email from a fan:

Dear Nerd42,

You asked what we would do without the United Nations Cake and Biscuit Regulation Authority. I believe the answer is that we would eat unregulated cakes and biscuits.

Sincerely, Total Loser.

I sent this response:

Dear Total Loser, LOL. Sincerely, Nerd42

Later Later

Apparently, this has promtped an official response from the UNCBRA. From their correspondance:

From: The United Nations Cake and Biscuit Regulation Authority Office Midtermolen 3.1415926535... 2100 Copenhagen Ø Denmark

To: Nerd42 nerd42@gmail.com

Subject: Mission of the UNCBRA.

Dear Sir,

The mission of the UNCBRA is two-fold and has several additional components. First, we regulate cakes. Secondly, we regulate biscuits. In addition, we regulate cakes and biscuits. If people were allowed to make and eat unregulated cakes and biscuits, they would probably die. Also, unregulated cakes and biscuits create greenhouse gasses that turn people's houses green. Thank you for giving us this opportunity to clarify how we serve the people of the world.

Sincerely, Cake Regulating Guy President of the United Nations Cake and Biscuit Regulating Authority. Midtermolen 3.1415926535... 2100 Copenhagen Ø Denmark

I'm glad we got that cleared up.